Walk a mile

I have been thinking a lot about this lately, but some people apparently don't like reading about such depressing subjects, so I haven't posted more. But this blog is my little stream of consciousness and makes me feel better if nothing else, so if you don't want to read about it, just come back next time.

I think one reason I feel compelled to write about this is that I hope giving these thoughts a voice will help others have insights into their own lives as well as mine. I also wonder if I had pondered these things as a younger person if I would have found the same wisdom.

Not that there's great wisdom in these thoughts, just observations. I'm starting to see life from older people's shoes like I haven't before. I don't know if my "childhood" was extended because of marrying a younger woman and an eternal student, but I didn't feel like a grown up until I gave up on being a kid, only a couple of years ago.

Then I opened my eyes to what is ahead. See, I've always been young. I know that seems self explanatory, but think about it. For all of my life I said "I am young." It's more that a state of being, it's a definition of who you are. You are healthy, strong, fast, quick witted, attractive, whatever.

To prove my point, let me ask this question. How many of you will be senile when you are old? How many will fall for simple fraud schemes? Have alzheimers? Need a handrail to go down stairs? Need help standing up? What about simpler things like, have arthritis, osteoporosis or high cholesterol?

Maybe it's just me but I never really think that will be me. I'm too healthy. I don't need flu shots because I don't get sick. My mind is a well oiled machine capable of deep thought and insightful analysis. I couldn't go senile. Could I?

As you get older, one thing you realize is what older people were like when they were young. I met this old man on the subway a couple of weeks ago. He was a firecracker. Musta been 80 at least and still going to work in a suit with a briefcase. I've seen him a few times since, so I know he goes in at least occasionally. Absolutely great shape for his age. You can tell when he was young he was fit and quite the athlete.

As he gets off the BART, younger passengers scurry to get around him on the escalator so they're not stuck behind, and he has to slow down to let them cut in front. He's patient with it, but you can tell he's thinking, "I'm really not that slow." I wonder when the first time that happened to him was. I wonder at what age he accepted it. When will my sharp mind start losing its edge. When will I realize it?

Others never seem to, and in a way they're even sadder. 60 year old ladies at the gym in clothes designed for 20 year olds. You could tell they used to be hotties, but at some point you just have to accept that you're not meant to wear those things anymore! It's not even the clothes so much as the attitude. They strut around as if you're supposed to ogle them the way that men probably did ogle them most of their life. On the other hand, when to you throw the towel in and decide you're not going to look good in a swimsuit again?

I also see how grumpy old people got the way they are, and the uninteresting reason is that they were pretty much always like that, only now they feel justified by their senior position so it stands out. Still, that doesn't mean we don't change. My recollection growing up of my dad's personality is quite different than his personality now. Did he want to change like that or did it happen to him.

When I was a freshman in college, I didn't want to be like an upper classman. The juniors and seniors seemed to cynical and serious. I was full of zeal and life and didn't want to become like that. As I became an upper classman, I realized that my priorities needed changing, and if I didn't want to be loser for my whole life, I needed to get serious. I turned into an upper classman, and now I look at people the way I was and realize that they'll get there eventually, even if they don't want to now.

As for news from the home front, not much to report. Haven't taken many pics lately, but here are a couple of pics from Table Mountain earlier this summer, that I finally got around to putting up. I'm also really close to having my pics online for sale, next few days I think.