More daddy stuff

It seems like my musings on getting old have been replaced by musings on being a dad. Perhaps this is why people have kids, so they can take the mind off their pending mid-life crisis:-) Just kidding. In some ways it's exactly what I expected and in other ways I'm surprised. I think the biggest part is that you take all of the individual things that people tell you to expect and add them up and it can be overwhelming.

I'm a bit surprised how little time we have. You'd think that if a kid slept 14 hours a day, that'd give you at least 6 hours of free time. Hah! No chance man. For most of the first week, he just wanted to be held. If we put him down he'd wake up. When he's really out, we could participate in a demolition derby while blaring 80's metal bands at full volume and he wouldn't wake up as long as we were holding him, but as soon as you set him down, he's Mr. Fussy Britches (I'm actually worried he's going to think this is his real name until he's in Kindergarten).

He's better now, primarily because we inclined his bed I think, but it still doesn't give you a lot of time. To actually get 8 hours of sleep, you have to attempt at least 10 or more, so that leaves 4 hours. Somewhere in there you have to do things like take a shower, go to the bathroom, fix meals, eat, etc. After all that, you probably get maybe an hour or two tops, which of course comes in 30-45 minute increments during daylight hours. It's hard to go to the grocery store, much less find time for Kat and I together since that requires BOTH of us to be ignoring the poop machine...I mean Carson.

However, he's insanely cute. I think it's an evolutionary survival mechanism. No way the human race would survive with our offspring screaming half the night for no apparent reason unless you got quickly attached. When he's in his "quiet alert" state, which usually lasts for 30-45 minutes after a handful of feedings a day (hopefully during the day hours) he just stares it you. It's pretty incredible actually. He doesn't blink, his facial expressions are few and subtle. He would win a staring contest every single time hands down. I don't stand a chance.

It's actually a fairly intense interaction, though if he goes much beyond 30 minutes I start to get bored and try to play with him, which only pisses him off. "Looking only buddy! Keep your filthy paws off!" But the staring is the only real interaction that he seems to enjoy. I mainly just wonder what he's thinking. And I often caption his movements and expressions for him, which you can find chronicled on his blog at CarsonHarris.net.

After that he gets increasingly fussy for 45 minutes to an hour climaxing when you try to change his diaper, which he really really hates. After the fussy period, he feeds for half hour and the whole things starts over again. It's pretty repetitive, with only a handful of rewards thrown in. A lot of people tell you it's rewarding the first time they smile at you. I think I'll be happy if he just looks at me a single time and appears to recognize me. Until then I'll just have to marvel at how tiny he is, and how fast he's growing. He's added 2 inches in less than two weeks! At this rate he'll be an NBA prospect by the time he's 2 years old.