New Reality Show

You know how reality shows thrive on putting people in tough situations? I can't believe they haven't tried "Survivor: Baby Edition." Everybody keeps telling me, "cherish these times, they go by so fast." Honestly, I just feel like I'm trying to survive him right now. (Surviving the Baby would make a good album title.) I think what they really mean in parent code is "document these times." Take pictures and video so you can remember him when he was small. I can't imagine wanting to prolong this.

Don't get me wrong, there's good stuff too, and they're right, it does go fast. Little Carson is growing like a weed on fertilizer. He gained a pound in the last two weeks, a 15% body weight gain! The newborn clothes that used to swallow him now either fit him snugly or don't fit at all. The hat he came home from the hospital in used to have to be folded over by nearly half to stay out of his eyes now fits perfectly with no fold. And many of his swaddling blankets now have to be finagled to stay in place, like a piece of tin foil over a baked potato that's just a little too short. Hey, similes are not my thing, okay?

Other parents are awfully quick to offer advice and predictions for the new or expectant parent. Sometimes I like it, though the advice is much better when it's specific. I always hated the "get your sleep now" line when Kat was pregnant. Thanks, I didn't know babies kept you up. I would have preferred the "spend time with your wife" advice, since I haven't spent more than 10 minutes alone with her. Quality time now is stealing a kiss with Carson in my left hand. He gets quite jealous too. He'll start fussing even if he's in a good mood once I start kissing or hugging Kat. He's quite protective of his boobs. He'll even wake up to fend off any competition.

Kat seems to be a great Mom. She has taken to it like a duck to water. She's a real natural, not so much because she knows everything as much as she is just really willing to learn what works, and she's caught on very quickly. She's very in tune with Carson. Her biggest challenge is sleep, and I think lack of it is wearing on her quite a bit. My biggest challenge is that Carson is at his worst when I have to take care of him.

We actually have a bit of a routine, though it's not to a clock. I take him for ~1 hour in the morning, when he's fairly cheery. He'll usually smile at least once during this period, so that's nice. Then I go to work and Kat and he do their thing all day, and I come home during what the baby books call the "living hell time of day." Just kidding! It's the fussy time though. He can be calmed until we eat dinner by walking around and talking to him. Then we take turns eating dinner, after which I try to calm him down some more, which doesn't work, so I put on my headphones and sing to him along with my iPod while surfing the internet. He cries about half the time and fusses all of it, but he'd do that anyway, so I might as well preserve my nerves.

I'm getting pretty good about knowing when he's going to let me calm him down during this time. He'll be crying, but you can tell his heart's just not in it. He opens his eyes as if to say "fix it Daddy." Then I can give him the pacifier and he'll be good for a minute or two, then realize he's not getting fed and be pissed off again. Eventually, he'll wear himself out and get a fairly tired look on his face, and then you can cradle him and make him go to sleep.

I'm not sure Kat approves of this method, but I think he'll turn out okay. I think the key will be recognizing when he needs a new routine, or has changed to need a different kind of interaction. Next week, maybe he'll want to be bounced up and down or read to. You know, they grow up so fast. You have to cherish these times.